Building Your Retirement Tribe: Why Relationships Matter
The weather has finally turned beautiful here in Minnesota, which means one thing: we’re all eagerly trying to sneak out for a round of golf. There’s something about the sunshine returning that just makes people happier and more eager to connect.
But as we start filling up our social calendars, it brings up a crucial topic we regularly discuss at Fortress Financial Group. We’ve been breaking down the "Five Perspectives" of a successful retirement, and today, we're looking beyond the portfolio to focus on your Inner Circle.
When people think about retirement planning, they usually focus on the money. While a financial plan can help determine when retirement may be financially feasible, the people you surround yourself with can play an important role in how fulfilling retirement feels.
The Retirement Identity Crisis
In our retirement coaching workshops, we run a simple exercise. I hand out a piece of paper and ask everyone to write down five sentences that start with the words, "I am…"
Almost every time, the answers look like this:
- I am a supervisor.
- I am a manager.
- I am a financial advisor.
During our working years, we naturally tie our identities to our professions. Because of that, your closest friends are often your coworkers. You spend 40 hours a week with them, you go out to lunch every Wednesday, and they become your default social circle.
When you retire, that identity is suddenly removed. You aren't just leaving a paycheck behind; you are leaving a built-in community. If you aren't prepared for it, that transition can create feelings of uncertainty or loss of identity for some retirees
Auditing Your Friendships
To thrive in this next chapter, you have to be intentional about who you spend your time with. It is perfectly okay to do an "energy audit" of your friendships.
If you are entering retirement with a desire to grow whether physically, spiritually, or by picking up new hobbies, many people find it helpful to spend time with others who share similar interests or goals. It can be incredibly draining to spend your time with folks who just want to coast if you are geared up for your next big adventure.
You don't have to sever old ties, but it’s vital to be intentional rather than hanging out with people purely by default. In a recent pilot group for our retirement coaching, I brought together nine individuals who had never met. By the third session, they were swapping numbers and sharing their stories. One of the guys looked around and said, "Dan has created a tribe here."
They were all newly retired, asking the same questions, and looking for connection. That is the power of finding like-minded people.
Budgeting for Your Inner Circle
Of course, maintaining a strong inner circle often has a financial component.
Some of the deepest, most meaningful relationships you have might be with family members or friends who live out of state. If your best friends live in Pennsylvania, Colorado, or Idaho, maintaining those bonds isn’t as simple as driving down the street for a cup of coffee. It requires flights, rental cars, and hotel stays.
When you are building your retirement strategy, those travel expenses must be factored into your financial plan. You are not just budgeting for vacations; you are budgeting for human connection.
The Pet Dilemma: Companionship vs. Mobility
Speaking of travel, a common question that pops up with pre-retirees is whether or not they should get a dog.
I love dogs. My kids grew up with one, and they are wonderful companions. However, from a practical standpoint, a pet significantly limits your mobility. If your ultimate retirement dream involves spontaneous, extended travel, you need to weigh the logistics.
According to 2025/2026 industry data, standard dog boarding averages between $40 and $60 a night, with luxury boarding reaching upwards of $85 to $100 per night. If you take a two-week vacation, boarding your dog can easily rival the cost of your own hotel room!
Some savvy retirees have found a unique workaround: they become traveling pet-sitters. They use specialized websites to watch pets in exotic locations like Florida or Arizona, getting free lodging while enjoying the companionship of an animal, entirely commitment-free.
The Secret to Longevity
Why do we care so much about your inner circle? Because research has consistently suggested that strong social connections are associated with improved emotional and physical well-being.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development is the longest running study on human happiness in the world. For over 85 years, researchers have tracked the physical and emotional health of participants. The current director, Dr. Robert Waldinger, has stated the study has found a strong association between meaningful relationships and long-term health and happiness.
Some research has suggested that prolonged loneliness and social isolation may have health impacts comparable to other well-known risk factors such as smoking and obesity.
At the end of the day, longevity isn't just about healthcare; it's about community. As you plan for your future, take the time to evaluate your inner circle. Be intentional, find your tribe, and invest in the relationships that bring you energy.
Sources & Further Reading
- The Harvard Study of Adult Development: For more on Dr. Robert Waldinger's 85-year research on happiness and relationships, visit adultdevelopmentstudy.org.
- The Health Risks of Isolation: Research by Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad regarding the physical impacts of loneliness compared to smoking. Read the APA overview here.
- Pet Boarding Costs: National averages and data on dog boarding expenses referenced via HomeGuide Cost Data.
Fortress Financial Group, LLC is a registered investment advisor. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Fortress and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only, and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. All indexes are unmanaged and may not be invested into directly. Investing involves risk, including loss of principal.
